Autumn is, for some reason, always a time of deep reflection for me. I don't know if it's due to summer's slow decline into cooler days, the return to the school year, or something else that evokes this extreme nostalgia in me. This year is no different, and I have been thinking especially of my adventures of last fall.
I left Athens on November 6, 2010, and over the last week-plus I have amused myself by remembering where I was on this day a year ago, and reflecting upon all that happened and the change and growth that have been bestowed upon me since.
One year ago today, I awoke to heady gray skies in Boise, Idaho, and pulled myself onto the road
for the last long leg of my journey westward. By day's end I would be in Eugene! That nine-hour jaunt was the conclusion of ten days of driving, weeks of planning, months of dreaming, a lifetime of exploring, and the affirmation of generations of pioneers.I remember that feeling; after grinding gears and curving my way up the mountainsides in western Idaho, sweeping down through the Blue Mountains and seeing the valley before me, mountains azure enough, sun shining down as I broke through the clouds, every conceivable shade of green, and knowing, just knowing that I was home. Waves of elation and peace enveloped me. I drove on and on that day, and eventually before I knew it I was pulling up in front of my parents' house. In my car. Which I had driven away from there two-plus years earlier. To Ohio.
I've been thinking a lot about the concept of home lately. I have many homes; for this I am lucky. There is Athens-home and Eugene-home, and within and around these cities are countless places that represent home to me. I recently passed my third anniversary of living in Athens, and throughout that time my greatest struggle has been to somehow reconcile these homes, at least internally, and to comprehend the great geographical divide that exists between Oregon and Ohio. After three years, I don't know that I'm any closer to figuring it out, but like I said, at this time of year I find myself growing homesick.
I'm feeling many of the same thoughts I felt a year ago, the last time autumn began its inevitable slide into winter. It really was summer once in between, but now that even Indian summer has ended and the days are determined to be gray and cloudy, it seems like last fall was just a flash of time ago.
I didn't realize until I had been back in Athens for about a month (this would be this past February or so) how much I had in fact changed and grown during my three months away. Some days I am shocked and impressed that I did in fact succeed in spending three months not in Athens; some days I am still quite bemused that I am in Ohio at all. I returned from those months with family feeling grounded and revived - and I was, and continue to be, so, so thankful for that time period in Eugene last winter and all that it meant to me, my family, and m
y Oregon friends.Since my return, life in Athens took a little bit of time accelerating to levels of never-before-seen busyness, though I did learn how to quite effectively incorporate Sarah-Nelson-rest-time, something I credit to my winter months spent in the warm embrace of family and home.
My adventuring, at least such as it was a year ago, has slowed down some. I have entrusted myself to this city and to the adventures that I may find within Athens and the surrounding county on a daily basis. I realized that my standard for an adventure relied so much on whether or not I left Athens to complete it - what, then, is the point of my being here? In the past year, I have done countless interesting things here and elsewhere.
I know that I will always retain an adventurous spirit, and that perhaps the part of me that dashes off on cross-country adventures is currently just hibernating, but I have also realized that I can't just be an adventurer forever. I can't have my cake and eat it, too; if I want and need to have roots down somewhere, I need to dedicate myself to doing actual real things in that place. The clock of time is ticking just a tiny bit louder these days.
I'm also looking very much forward to the winter adventures that I do have planned - a barely-four-day jaunt to the Northwest for Thanksgiving, and another trip for the week surrounding Christmas. Today in Athens the weather is classic Pacific Northwest - gray and rainy, highs (and lows) in the mid-50s. There's a strange comfort in weather like this; it unsettles me at the same time as it calms me.
Here are some interesting places I have had adventures in the past year: Eugene for two months; Seattle; Portland; the Oregon Coast; Auburn/Bay Area/Southern California; Phoenix, Sedona, Flagstaff, AZ; Albuquerque; I-40 between Albuquerque & Oklahoma City; Fayetteville/Little Rock, AR; the Mississippi delta; New Orleans; the Gulf Coast; Alabama & Georgia; the Carolinas: Charleston, SC and Asheville, NC; the Atlantic Ocean; a few trips to Athens, WV and other locales in WV; Louisville; a half-marathon in Roanoke, Virginia, and another in Eugene this April; Athens, Athens County and Meigs County; Champaign/Urbana, Illinois; Indianapolis; Boise, Idaho, and I'm sure I am forgetting a few.
I have done many new things. One of the most important is what I was preparing, this day a year ago, to spend the next few months doing, and that was living, being around, and caring for (and being cared for by) my family and my mother in ways that were healing to us all. I connected with people & places in Eugene in a way I hadn't before.
(Interjection: One year ago yesterday my strong, brave, talented, wonderful mother had surgery for breast cancer. I'm sure that she is doing reflecting of an entirely different sort today, but above all I am so thankful that she is now on the path to recovery, and that an entire year has already passed since that particular adventure.)
I drove 5,000 miles by myself across the country. I got in a car accident. I bought a new
car. I substitute taught; I was Ms. Nelson in front of classes of kindergarteners, 11th graders, and everything in between. I went to every school in Athens & Meigs counties. I subbed in special ed, and started to love it. I took classes at Ohio University. I worked for Americorps and got involved with the local food security movement. I ran four half-marathons. I went to a wedding and was in another one. I turned 26. I dated some. I read a lot of books - some classic and some not-so-classic. I painted my apartment. I spent a lot of time alone, and a lot of time forging friendships stronger than any I've ever had. I started graduate school, and I started thinking that I really really might want to not live in Athens anymore, so I have been spending a lot of time dreaming of further grand adventures!
Anyway, thanks for reading my blog and for sticking through this extremely long post while I wax nostalgic about my adventures and the ways I've grown and changed in the past year, as self-centered as it sounds. I just hope that I will continue to have fun and have adventures. Today, as I look back over the last year, I am filled with a wave of happiness. I'm looking forward to creating a new year/life of adventures, to seeing my family over Thanksgiving - oh yeah, and to seeing Oregon football continue its season of glory. Go Ducks! (yes, I will wear that T-shirt approximately three times per week for the rest of the season.)
